do you know your neighbors?

I like to walk next door occasionally and see what the boys are doing. I can usually find them watching a football game, drinking budweiser, and eating pizza. This is a typical Saturday afternoon for them. I suppose it's not really my scene. Although, I find myself to be very curious just to make sure they are doing exactly what I had predicted before I show up without an invite.
I like to drink coffee on the lido deck in the mornings. I have the luxury of a nice view of the bay and watching the elderly lady walk her big fluffy white dog every morning. Sometimes I daydream what it would be like to share a beautiful morning with your pet. They always look so happy together.
On other side of my house, you can find a group a girls always smoking cigarettes and chatting. I can see them from my roof and wonder why they have never tried to befriend me. Word got out in the neighborhood and apparently it's a rehabilitation home. So I guess they won't be inviting me over for a nice glass of wine.
From my bedroom window I always here the teenage boys talking about the waves. It saves me a walk to the beach to check them out myself . I guess it's irrelevant considering I have only surfed a handful of times. There's about 20 surfboards in the garage and at least 10 beach cruisers. Of course they have the really cool Newport Beach mom who drives a black BMW and a white SUV to haul the kids around.
Observing your surroundings and knowing my neighbors is apart of my daily ritual. However, I never asked myself why. I guess it's just human nature and the desire to not only exist but to exist with others.

Am I dating my cell phone?

Remember when you would race home to check the answering machine? Impatiently hoping, the boy you had met the night before called within his three-day rule (maybe it’s five now, hmmm….). For all you sweet youngin’s this was still the 90’s. I like to call it “the good days.” This was a time when we were happily dancing to The Stone Roses and sipping on Mickey’s.
Now time has passed, and a new translation of dating has revealed itself to me.
This transition has revitalized a form of communication, as well as a language I have yet to learn. Although, common conversation really hasn’t changed much considering most boys speak in riddles anyway. With this in mind, I shouldn’t be surprised that my dating life only consists of text messages. Suddenly I realized that I’m dating my cell phone! However, I’m not just dating my cell phone, it has become a serious relationship without my consent. Although, there may be some relief in my new found boyfriend. Never again will I wonder why he isn’t calling me. I have now conformed to, “Why isn’t he texting me?!” Is this diluted gesture of interest the beginning to an innovative reality? Possibly, yes….
Remember when a boy had no other choice but to call you and cordially ask you out on a date? Gosh! That was scary! Butterflies were swimming, the birds were chirping, the sky was blue, and we were all happy without Prozac. It was a grand world full of bliss. Awhhh… Fortunately, technology has saved us from a brutal concept of unthinkable happiness, something we all love so dearly and hate to love so obsessively. With all do respect, Mr. Myspace has been a loyal and very forgiving friend. J I have been a long time supporter in a boy’s conquest in serial dating. Btw, I say this with absolute sarcasm. I am truly a fan and it’s one my guiltiest pleasures.
I suppose I cannot condemn all boys for this. Recently, a boy had called me and asked me out on a date. What?! I immediately thought, “This is absurd, who would do that?” Well, he did… Of course I would be totally caught off guard and beside myself for this creepy phone call. After going into cardiac arrest, I replied, “Sorry, I’m sort of dating someone and we’re kind of exclusive.” And the other guy would be no other but my cell phone. He didn’t have to know that.
Now I know this may sound pretentious and a bit cruel. I guess it is seemingly trite and ridiculous for me to be so embarrassed for this poor boy. The guilt started to settle within and after analyzing my immature behavior I came to the conclusion that I am as guilty as the rest of our cyber happy society. So I decided to seek out advice from someone who was willing to be fair. Well, apparently I have a plethora of advice givers! So we all know that everyone loves to give advice. It makes you seem a little more normal than the person asking for it. This is why your therapist probably did some time in a mental hospital. “Stop dating boys in Newport, start dating boys older than you, and stop dating musicians! “Dear God, what did I do?” In my defense, I live in Newport Beach, I don’t meet many boys older than myself, and I looovvveee music! In all sincerity, does it really have to do with the city I live in? Possibly….
In conclusion to this silly little story, I guess I may be a product of my own environment. In turn, should I blame the boys for living in the same social atmosphere we all grew to love? I guess not L. Therefore ladies, we will have to gracefully adapt to our contemporary dating life, which will consist of text messaging, Myspace, and just “hanging out.”